how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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