if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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