You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
