I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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