I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
