I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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