yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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