how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
