And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
