i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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