Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
