i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Randomize
