I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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