after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
