3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
