just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
