this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
This is my life. Enjoy the view
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
