I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
