Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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