Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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