He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Green mimosas i think yes
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
