My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
