Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
