it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
pop tarts are not kleenex
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Did I show you my penis last night?
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Randomize
