we have pet lesbian snakes
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
