Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
It's rum buckets o'clock
Randomize
