Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
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