Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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