i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
