Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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