i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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