where am i from again
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize
