But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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