I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
