Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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