look no pants
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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