Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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