Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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