My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I need help removing her.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
