when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Randomize
