How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Randomize
