a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
