How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
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