I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
