im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
