i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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