So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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