absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
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