I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize
