Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Randomize
