I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
You are a genius and a whore.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
