I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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