She went from zero to smokin in five shots
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
